Thursday, March 22, 2012

Carrots and Sticks

Motivation can come from rewards or consequences. It's important to find the right motivation for the right time. The metaphor of the carrot and stick comes from the image of a donkey being motivated to pull a cart by holding a carrot in front of its face, just out of reach. Plus it's really funny to see a person trying to eat a carrot on a stick.

Andrea and I go away on a marriage retreat every  year. We take go away for one night to a business-quality hotel in town and we work through our goals for the coming year. We talk about any conflicts that have come up, work on a budget and process through what we want to do in the future. It's incredibly helpful, but it's not much fun. It's the stick in the metaphor of the carrot and the stick.

Last week, we went to Seattle for the night. We took a tour, ate out and enjoyed life. Each year after we go on our marriage retreat we plan a romantic get away. We've gone to a bed and breakfast, headed out to the coast, explored downtown Portland and several other things. It's the carrot; it's our reward for the hard work of the marriage retreat. We give ourselves something to look forward to so that we can be motivated to get through the hard process of planning and discussing.

How do you find motivation as a couple to do the things that you need to do?

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